Chapter 11 "COME INTO THE DESERT PLACE AND REST" (Mark 6:31) "The Desert Shall Blossom" I had hoped to see the desert in bloom, but it remained the same, until the cut-off, Highway 85, which by-passes Phoenix. Here we could see the deep blue lupine and some little purple flowers, in addition to a mass of yellow brittlebush and also a profusion of orange blossoms; a rainbow of colors, with their green backgrounds. Now, I felt happy that I finally got to see some of the spring desert flowers in bloom. But we decided to stay for the month of March, and there would be more blossoms, such as the drive from Tucson to Benson where the gold, yellow and orange flowers formed a bright blanket over the desert. In fact, when we'd left the prison, I noticed blossoms sprouting from the top of the cactus in front of the fence, which I had expected to see in the open desert, but it could be too early, as they were not in bloom. Stalled at the Quarter Horse Motel and RV Park We'd stayed a few nights at The Quarter Horse Motel and RV Park last January, and now registered for the month, as the $179.00 rate would be better, even if we left a week early, and it felt good to again enjoy the luxury of full hook up, including cable TV. For now, not knowing when Adam would call, this seemed our best plan, and Lill, the receptionist said we would be refunded, if we left early. We'd even considered the possibility of a phone, but they offered free access for our e-mail and computer, so we went to the office to send and receive our messages. Again, we met with a snag; it required a credit card to make the long-distance connection and Van still didn't know how to do it. Lill said that the relief receptionist, on Monday, would be able to explain how it works. In the meantime, I asked Van, "If we were to get a phone connection would we still have to pay long-distance every time we go on-line or do our e-mail?" "Yes." I was becoming discouraged, because my website was now in a gooey mess and once I got it changed, I wanted to publish the results, so I asked Van, "What are our options?" And while he paused, I answered myself, "Get it all ready and handle it at Beaudry RV when we go into Tucson for the parts on Thursday?" "That's one option," he agreed, adding, "otherwise we can pay for the long-distance with our MCI PrePaid calling card, once we learn how." "Okay, so for now it looks like we are stalled at the Quarter Horse Motel and RV Park." I began to laugh, as I acknowledged Joanie for that play on words. Van smiled, but with his sore back, it hurt to laugh, even though he hadn't lost his sense of humor, because earlier he had done an impersonation of Tim Conway's stilted old-man walk. All this is because he was not recovering from his flu virus as well as we'd anticipated, especially since he'd been taking an abundance of our Isotonix products, such as OPC-3 and Vitamin C. Actually, the title of this chapter evolved from the fact that we were both ailing, thanks to the regression of our health, after passing through the LA smog. And so far the desert hadn't helped; if anything, the dryness seemed to aggravate our condition. So, the prospect of three weeks staying put felt good, especially since we were faced with transforming the website from its current gooey mess. First and foremost, we both needed to regain our strength before we could think clearly enough to tackle the project. Van didn't feel up to the effort of getting to the Office, so my e-mail waited until Tuesday. Even then, he walked like the tin man in Wizard of Oz, and if he moved wrong, his back would cause severe pain. And his ongoing coughing made it worse. What a mess. Fortunately he had quit smoking, over a year ago, so this bout wasn't as bad as in the past when he would develop a bronchial infection or pneumonia. In fact, exactly a year ago he was in the hospital in Hammond, Louisiana, and that's when he learned that he had emphysema. But, since he quit smoking, it hadn't bothered him, until now. In any event, he made it to the Office and talked with Christy, only to learn that we couldn't send e-mail out with our credit card for long-distance. However, she suggested that we could go to the library and she gave Van directions. But, that would mean unhooking and neither of us were up to that much effort; instead, we would wait until Thursday and send it from Beaudry RV in Tucson. So my e-mail and on-line activities were stalled. Not that it mattered, because I wasn't feeling like working on my website, anyway. It too was stalled. I mean, I felt so completely blocked that even thinking about the website changes brought me to tears of frustration, and I had no idea whatsoever of how to integrate Snow's new design- format with mine. I'd come to another impasse when I wanted to give up the entire project, even though Snow had offered to help via phone or e-mail. The fact is that this virus had taken me down and my head, throat and chest were all congested. I couldn't even think, so I spent one day updating my chapters to the website, which didn't require much thinking. I knew that I would need a clear head to move forward with the website changes, and I would need Van's support and assistance, but he wasn't thinking clearly either, and he wasn't interested in anything but taking care of himself; self-nurturing, in other words, with vitamins, teas and soup. Of course, I made and served the chicken-rice soup, because neither of us felt like eating. The worst of this interim, for me, was the lack of input from my Inner Guidance, which reminded me of what I know to be true, without doubt: "I, of myself, can do nothing; it's the Father within Who doeth the works." So, if He isn't on the job, nothing happens. Of course, I realize that He is always "on the job"; it's just a matter of my recognizing what's going on to cause the congestion, and moving through it. In other words, we were in another experiential aide process, so nothing to do but ride it out. In addition to the other stalls at the Quarter Horse, was my frustration with the site we were stuck in. I'd asked for one with a view, but the person hadn't left the end site overlooking the desert and mountains when we arrived, so Lill put us in another site, completely boxed in. Why doesn't that surprise me? I could see the sunrise over a distant mountain, between two RV's, if I positioned myself just right. But, that's not the way I enjoy my views, which I need for my fullest creativity. Anyway, Van was too sore and weak to go through the moving process, so Lill said that we could move into the new site when we returned from Tucson on Thursday. So, we stayed put. A Glimmer of Light Every once in awhile, a neighbor would move out, and I would have a full view, until someone else moved in; a promise of what could be, once we moved forward. And, of course, the same is true for the website. I had managed to change the design and colors, from burlap and brown to fluffy clouds and blue sky with dark blue and violet borders, with my yellow butterfly logo still intact. I could see that eventually it would all work out, once I got beyond the block. By Wednesday, my head had cleared enough that I could ask some intelligent questions, and Van felt willing to listen, while I talked about the obstacle to moving forward. Something was wrong, or a step was missing in the format; not because of Snow's work, but it simply hadn't been there, and I must uncover the missing link I felt my strength returning and my mind clearing, as I began making more changes to the design, adding my choice of colors, and following Snow's format, as I tried to remember her instructions. But, again, something was missing and I couldn't seem to fix it, until I insisted that Van stand by the computer and watch my efforts. With a glimmer of light, he reminded me of that missing step and I began to move forward, until I came to my Who is Joyanna? website. I decided to stay with the orange and gold sun logo that Snow had picked up, a temporary one, until I got clarity for this page. I added yellow and gold background and border shades, creating warm and cheerful energies. Then, all of a sudden Joanie decided to add a balloon background with lavender borders. I knew I was in trouble. And I also began to understand the problem: I was in the middle of an identity crisis. After all, this section of my website was my personal webpage that I would present to the world: my books with my personal stories and my family pictures. In other words, my life story. I realized that Joanie felt it was her opportunity to express herself, and she wanted to add her creative input. But, it wasn't appropriate for this page, so I promised her that she could have her own webpage with balloons and lavender borders. This seemed to appease her, and she allowed me to complete the page in yellow and gold and orange; colors that reflect the warmth and joy of my life at Kah-Nee-Ta, featured in my book, Pilgrimage to Kah-Nee-Ta. Though these colors are not necessarily my favorites, they do reflect that part of me, and it felt good to come into contact with that part of myself. After all, Joy is the name of my subconscious self, and this is the perfect site to let the sunshine in, or out, as the case may be. So, it felt kind of strange, but it also felt comfortable. A revelation seemed to be surfacing: It's time to stop living my life, based on someone else's idea of me, or what I want, and for me to get clarity on my own identity and what's true for me. That's what this gooey mess process was all about; like the caterpillar in transition to becoming the butterfly. Not only was there a conflict between my personal identity, but also with my ministry. It has so many facets that it's important to get clarity. And the light finally dawned when I realized that the missing link in the format set up was the need for an explanation of my original ministry and writings, before the Freedomers. Once this clarified, my Guidance took me to one of my earlier books that gave an explanation of the sequence of events in the unfolding of my ministry. With that in place, I felt much lighter and freer. I could now move forward with ease. My Spiritual Wings Unfurl All day I'd been trying to read my Daily Reading, but never quite got to it, until later; after the breakthrough finally came. I laughed out loud, as I read it to Van, because it was affirming that when I come to seeming blocks to my progress, somewhere within my soul the creative thought process reveals the Light (a Divine Idea) and I am able to move forward on my life's journey; my spiritual wings unfurl and I soar above and beyond the obstacle. It concluded with an affirmation: The ever-renewing spirit of God within frees me. I am free and unlimited. March: Divine Order I couldn't believe that I'd gotten three weeks into the month of March, without mentioning the coordinating subject from Transformation: a Twelve Power Process, that I plan to share during this year. Of course, I suggest that you link to that section for complete details, but I'll give you a short version. I always affirm Divine Order all month, because it's subject is Order, Timing, Balance and Harmony, and usually it's a stormy month for personal growth issues, in addition to the weather. This year had been no exception, with the rain in California and snow throughout many of the states. But, now the weather had stabilized and we were enjoying the warmth. However, having already lived and written the rest of this, and the next chapter, I can attest that the month is living up to its reputation. The next chapter's title, For Everything there's a Season, also applies to this month, because of the appropriate bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1. And another, "Let everything be done decently and in order" (1 Corinthians 14:40) offers a good affirmation for the month. Dark green is the monthly color association, although the desert doesn't offer much dark greenery for visualization. However, there are many shades of green, and I like to suggest that the many shades of nature's greens are appropriate for this month, because they are the background colors of the spring flowers and blossoms. One needs to be aware that colds, congestion, and flu are symptoms for this month, as it endeavors to attain balance in body and conditions. It's sure been true for Van and I this month, and last year, too, when we both came down with bronchial conditions. This time, because of the dose of LA smog, I've also suffered from sinus blockage or drainage, which I've never had before. So, the affirmations, along with the home remedies and tissues, have been a prominent part of my month. (link this)With this information, you can click here: TransformationsTwelvePowers to learn more about this fabulous Divine Power. Spring's Profusion When we left Quarter Horse Motel and RV Park, I notified Lill so she could read our electrical meter in preparation for our move to Space 62. Little did I know what the fates had in store for us. But, let me tell the story as the day unfolded. The trip to Tucson, for our 11:00 a.m. appointment at Beaudry RV, went smoothly and we enjoyed the new blossoms in the desert: more intensity of purples and blues, plus the profusion of yellows, gold and orange. And, in the distance, we could see the peaks of several mountains that had been sprinkled with snow during the recent storm. Oh My Gosh! At Beaudry, I took my computer into the lounge and began typing a few more letters, while Van attended to Freedom's needs. And when he arrived, with the help of several others, he got my e-mail messages handled. Hooray! It must have been my ongoing affirmations of Divine Order. Unfortunately, others were also anxious to use the hook-ups, so I got disconnected and read my e-mail. Oh my gosh! A message from Linda stated: Michael talked with someone yesterday, as Adam had originally asked him, and Adam will be out Friday or Monday. I'll call and let you know, as soon as we get the exact day and time. I sent her a reply, but I knew she wouldn't get it, until evening, and I would be calling to confirm the information. Needless to say, I was excited, but I had a mission to use the on-line hookup as much as possible, in order to publish my completed website pages, including three from the new website, so Snow could see them and give feedback on my changes. Despite all the people awaiting use of the on-line hookups, I somehow managed to get my webpages published. A big relief! I also checked my original websites, because Joyce had said that she had trouble getting to them, but they were okay. It was the new InnerFreedom.net that announced: Cannot be found. But that was okay, because I wasn't ready for it to reach the world, anyway. Just getting it available for Snow's viewing would be enough. And I would probably pass the word along to Joyce, so she could access the three new pages. Diana, a nice gal from a remote area of northern California, had taken advantage of the opportunity to look at websites offering women's compacts, and she spent several hours, once the other users had left. I was fascinated to see that people really do browse and spent a lot of time on websites, when they find what they are interested. Now, I could hardly wait to get my old and new websites integrated and onto a Search Engine. This activity, in itself, would be enough excitement for one day, but now there was Adam's imminent release. Freedom's Renewal Beaudry RV had been exceptionally busy and it had taken most of the day to get the work completed. But finally, with the new headlight in place, a new valve for the blackwater tank and a new windshield water pump, Freedom was finally ready to leave around 4:30, and I was allowed back home. A Change of Plans Being that I hadn't regained my strength from the virus, I was happy to relax awhile and consider the events of the day; mainly Adam's upcoming release. f course, if he were to be released Friday, our plans would change: we would not return to Quarter Horse. Instead, we would stay at Wal-Mart I finally figured that Linda was home and called. She was so excited, but she still hadn't seen Michael, and didn't have any further information. However, she promised to call as soon as she heard. I took the time to make a short call to Steve about a business matter, and soon heard a beep that notified me a call was coming through. But, I didn't know how to receive it, so I hung up and then listened to my Voice Mail: "Adam will be out Friday at 9:00 a.m." Immediately I called Linda and we shouted with joy over this exciting news. She'd already made the plane reservations and gave me the information. Bottom-line, he would be out at 9:00, but wanted us there at 8:30. However, his plane wouldn't leave until nearly 8:00 that night. It would take him to Phoenix where he would transfer at 9:00 and arrive in San Antonio at 12:30 p.m. She'd worked out these arrangements on the computer, having learned that Continentals rates were $600.00 for a one-way ticket, and this economy fare would only cost $319.00. With all the important information exchanged, we ended the conversation. Soon Van appeared, after having paid for Freedom's latest R and R, and we rolled down the city streets to Wal-mart, passing the Tucson Airport on our way. So, now we knew how to get to the airport. Everything was working out in Divine Order. Although Van and I were tired from our Big Day, we needed to do some shopping at this Supercenter, so we made our purchases, grabbed a McDonald's and went home to bed in excited anticipation of our next Big Day in the morning. |
