Chapter 20 SHOW ME MY WAY FOR TODAY An Unusual Day Mother's Day seemed like a good time to start a new chapter, especially since God gave me this title, from my Daily Reading, and then showed me what to write. It started with the idea that we were to live in the Now, the Present Moment, like using the manna for the day. Van and Rascal walked me across the Christian College Campus, on a glorious spring- time day, as ducks and geese scattered from the lawn to the pond, while Rascal ran and romped, enjoying his freedom. I went on to the Mile High Church by myself. Within minutes the sanctuary filled to its 1000-person capacity and the service began. It was an unusual day, honoring Mother's Day, saying farewell to Dr. Kathleen Vogt, the beloved Dean of the Holmes Institute (ministerial school) and teaching Lesson 2 of the annual Prosperity Program; this year based on Wells of Abundance, by Ingraham. Amazingly, it all tied together into an inspiring and reflective program. A Reflective Program After the tributes were paid to the newly degreed, Dr. Kathleen Vogt, she spoke about her life; of having begun her career as a single mom, struggling, with a "haircut and tennis shoes consciousness," to provide for herself and kids. She explained that whenever she seemed be getting ahead with her finances, someone needed a haircut or tennis shoes, and she was back in debt. I thought about Dottie's current financial struggles, only for them it's either the car or dentist that takes them down. Dr. Vogt had gone to California to ministerial school, before there was one in Denver, on a wing and a prayer, and she described how Spirit had provided for her through the years, which reminded me of our Spirit-guided travels in our RV. She talked about the twists of fate that brought her back to Denver and finally marrying the founding minister of Mile High Church, Dr. Fred Vogt, who made his transition in 1999. When she mentioned having served as Assistant Minister, before his retirement -- and also before my involvement at the church -- I reflected on the dreams that I'd had, while attending Unity's Licensed Teachers Training: to be a co-minister, with my husband. I was single, at the time, and my dream was enhanced by an exercise of role-playing, in my Spiritual Counseling class, as a husband-wife minister-counselor team. A dream that is still in my heart, and one that I covertly try to impose upon Van, who has no intentions of anything remotely connected with the idea. Yet, in my mind I know that he would be fantastic as a teacher-counselor for my Money Makeovers Prosperity Program. Who knows: it could happen. But, for now I must be satisfied with our teamwork in creating my website (more on this later). Yet, when the choir sang, A Gift of Love, a tribute to Dr. Kathleen, and the large screens showed pictures of her life and career, I felt a tug of sadness and regret that life passes by so quickly, as I thought about my own life and career. And I am convinced that for me, like her, the best is yet to be. In her case, she says she is "awaiting reassignment from Spirit," rather than retirement, as she moves to Prescott, Arizona. Anything is Possible In my case, I am still in the process of preparation for my website ministry and I spend time on it everyday. As I'm writing these words, the idea flashed in front of me: "perhaps Dr. Kathleen would be interested in a partnership in the Inner Freedom Ministry. A thought so overwhelming that I immediately dismissed it as unrealistic. As Dean of the Holmes Institute and a minister-teacher in her own right, I'm sure she could easily create her own website ministry, if she desired. Yet, it is a possibility, isn't it? Anything is, if it's right with God. My lesson is not to sell myself, or my website ministry, short. And that is more of the purpose of this chapter. Hearing Dr. Kathleen tell her life story definitely gave me encouragement to keep on keeping on. Where's the Tissue? But, for now, the Sunday service continued when Dr. Roger Teel, the minister, invited all mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers, and anyone who fills such a capacity to stand up and be acknowledged. At least this is one role that I have fulfilled, despite the slings and arrows of some family members who feel I didn't do it right. I don't know; how do you "do it right?" Or for that matter, how do you do it wrong? I wasn't given a handbook on raising each child. In fact, I wasn't even given a very good role-model, so I must pat myself on the back and say, "I did the best I knew how, at the time, under the circumstances, and with the abilities at hand." In any event, it felt good to have made it to the point of great-grandmother, which would soon be 12-years, as Brandon reaches his June 13th birthday; a few days before mine on June 21st; more celebrations, but Dottie and family will be in Oregon, so we're on our own for this one. However, I have an agreement with Brandon that we'll have a giant celebration next year, when he becomes a teenager and I become a septuagenarian. But, that is a year away, and this chapter is about living in the Present Moment; a difficult task in this service that causes reminiscence. In fact, when the lights went on, after the song, "Winds Beneath my Wings," the minister said, "We should have tissue boxes in the back of our pews," because of the sniffling and wiping of eyes, including mine. "Faith Without Works..." All this, and the actual sermon hadn't even begun. But, finally Dr. Teel began the lesson for Week 2, Force and Work, based on the Seven Steps of Prosperity, presented in The Wells of Abundance. The "Force," is the inner power or quality of Faith, and the "Work" is also an inner activity, probably based on the bible verse, "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:17). In other words, it is not enough to have faith, but we must apply it in our lives. As an illustration of his subject, the minister told a long story about a man who now attends the Today Church in Detroit. The story goes that the man had been wealthy, but wanted to assure that he and his children would never have to work. So he invested 75 percent of his money in stocks. Unfortunately, they went kaput, so he said, "That's not for me." However, his broker later called to tell him that if he invested in these wonderful stocks that had just come in, he would more than make up his loss. So, the man invested the remaining money, and then went on vacation. However, he was interrupted by a phone call from his broker telling him that he'd lost everything. The man became bitter and depressed, no longer feeling his former zest for life, joy of sunrises and excitement about each day. In fact, he'd become so desolate that a friend suggested that he attend the Today Church. At that time, Dr. Jack Boland was minister, and his words so inspired the man that he left church with a new enthusiasm for life. Again, he enjoyed the sunrises and he soon invested in a business that eventually tripled what he'd lost in the stocks. In fact, he also owns a very successful restaurant in Detroit and Rev. Teel said that he has eaten there and met the man. Obviously, if the man had had the consciousness of wealth, he could easily recreate it, once he got his attitude adjusted and put the force of faith to work. The point of this story was that we must develop an appreciation of our life, as it is, in the present circumstances; not thinking "Life will be better when" or "if." As Within so Without It's interesting that Dottie and I had been talking about this subject a few days earlier, when I'd been given the title for this chapter. She said that Steve had been looking forward to delivery of a shipment of new product that he knew would make them millionaires. So when he learned that it had been shipped to their upline in Seattle, delaying the anticipated sales, he was upset. Yet, Dottie knows that the wealth is not out there; it's within. It's a matter of consciousness. If you don't have it within, then nothing on the outer will make it happen; a lesson that Steve is learning on his way to the next income level in their networking business. When I returned from church, anxious to share my morning's experiences, Dottie told us the conclusion to another story. It seemed that all of a sudden their phone service no longer allowed incoming calls; when anyone called, a recording said, "The line has been disconnected." They were frantic, because their business depends on the phone. Yet, it was no longer in service. Also, it is the lifeline between Steve and Airica, who checks in frequently. In desperation, Dottie called the phone company, whose fault it must be that this happened, and they said it would be corrected within 48-hours. She then called Arianna to let her know what had happened; and then she called several others to alert them of the disaster. In the meantime, they had to leave for some business appointments. Soon Airica called our cellular phone, having been informed by Arianna of the dead lifeline. But, Airica will not be thwarted. She asked me to tell her parents that they could take her phone (on another line) upstairs and she would call them later. I gave them the message when they returned that night, and Airica's lifeline was initiated. They also gave the number to several others. And, somehow, life went on. The truth is that Dottie was quite happy to have the constantly ringing phone stopped, so her life went on as usual. Steve, on the other hand, felt like he'd been grounded. And they both asked themselves: "Why did this happen? What lesson were they to be learning? Finally, the phone company called with the problem solved. Apparently Dottie had accidentally entered a code for call forwarding, but her intent had been to add new phone numbers to the speed-dial memory. Inadvertently she had forwarded to some unknown disconnected number, so the message automatically came on when anyone called, because the incoming phone calls were being call-forwarded to the discontinued number. She laughed heartily, as she told the story, especially when I brought to her attention the powerfulness of her desire to stop the phone calls, because she knew darn well that's what had happened: the universe had simply fulfilled her desire by giving her what she wanted. Now, she had the opportunity to see if what she wanted was really what she wanted; or was she willing to allow the necessary phone calls to come through in order for their business to be expanded and fulfill their goals: Professional Coordinators by June 1st, less than three-weeks. Talk about "Force and Works," this story is an example of both, because it illustrates the power, force, of our inner true desires and thoughts as projections that bring about seemingly inadvertent results. We are never victims of circumstances (it wasn't the phone company's fault), because we have the power and ability to create or change events. I reminded Dottie that when she and Steve are in alignment, with their wants and desires, they have even greater power to create and fulfill their desires, such as the goal of becoming Professional Coordinators. The question is: are they both willing to do and become what it takes for this new level of responsibility and management. Enough for Today I often ask myself the same question: am I willing and able to fulfill the responsibilities and management aspects of the Inner Freedom Ministry website? A good and legitimate question, especially considering that my memory often fails to provide the information I need. And there is so much that is required that I simply don't know, and I'm not sure I'm willing to learn. Also, there is that part of myself, and especially Van, that prefers the less pressures and stress of retirement. In truth, God will give me what I want. Am I ready and willing to fulfill my part? I've concluded that my part, for today, and each day, is simply to do what I can, as I can, and to trust that God will give me the ability, or send me someone, when the time comes, to do whatever is ahead. In the meantime, it was still Mother's Day, and the family celebrations were just beginning. Four Women and Micayla Airica and Arianna had planned for the four adult gals and Micayla to go out to lunch. It was a delightful event and a first-time for the five of us. Micayla, as usual, was adorable and perfect, as she ate her peas, beets and potatoes, or whatever her mom and grandma put on her tray. I insisted that the waitress take a picture to remember the special time, and Arianna studied the newspaper to decide what movie we would attend (without Micayla, who would be dropped by home, with her dad). Four women, four generations, four viewpoints; but we finally agreed to see The Castaway, which I'd already seen with Van, but was willing to see again. The funny thing is that it's really a man's movie, but given the opportunity to see something feminine, such as Chocolit, which they also hadn't seen, they felt it would be too boring. Oh well, that's life in these times. I Have More to Say About That I've already written about The Castaway, in Journey of Awareness, but it seemed so pertinent to what's happening now, that I have more to say. For instance, the subject of appreciating and living life as it is, became evident when Chuck, Tom Hank's character, found himself on a deserted island in the Pacific. He could either make the most of it, or not. It was totally up to him; no one else was there. He could find a way to cope and survive, or commit suicide, as he once attempted. At the end, he said that he could either choose to breathe or die, and his will to live motivated him to keep breathing and do what he needed to do to stay alive. When he stood at the crossroads, in the middle of Texas, he again had the opportunity to make a decision that would alter his life. A circumstance similar to Airica, as she'd completed her last day of high school and awaited graduation, within the week. The world is before her, and she has the choices, according to her wants and desires. This movie has many lessons, if one only sees them and how they apply in everyday life, without being stranded on a deserted island. In any event, it was fun seeing the movie with the gals, especially since we'd missed the beginning, and without that the ending doesn't make much sense. So, great-grandmother got to enlighten them with her wisdom and knowledge, making a lot more sense of the reason Chuck stood there in the middle of nowhere trying to make a decision. It reminded me of something Dr. Teel had said about the wisdom of grandmothers threading through the lives of the younger generations. Yes, if they are willing to listen and learn. But, usually, everyone seems to want to learn for themselves. What Did You Do? On the way home, still in the mood of "What Next?" I shared that after my graduation, I'd asked Phil, the love of my life (the professional hockey player), if we were going to get married, and he replied, "I'm not good enough for you," or words to that effect. I said, "Okay, then I'm going to join the WACS (Women's Army Corps). And I enlisted. While awaiting my orders, I went to Kah-nee-ta (the resort our family owned) for a few days. I met Randal, and we became engaged, returned to Portland and told Mom and Dad Freeland. I said to Dad, "We're getting married." Being the Victorian type Dad, he said, "Oh, you'd better wait." I replied, "It'll be a month." Probably relieved that the delay meant I wasn't pregnant, which was the social stigma in those days, he gave his approval. And that was the way my life went: marriage and raising a family; until we divorced seventeen-years later. Arianna asked, "When did you party?" "I didn't," I answered. A reality foreign to Arianna, who still enjoys partying with her husband. She fell silent, so I said to Dottie, "I know that you went to live with Lana's grandmother, because I was going to marry Eric, but then what did you do?" "I worked for Avco and then went to Portland State College." I'd always figured she would leave home as soon as possible, so my getting married again didn't seem to be a problem. However, I suspect that she resented having her home pulled out from under her, so to speak, not allowing her any option. But it was several years before she met and married her first husband, Leon, who was Arianna's beloved dad, who died when she was 16. "Arianna," I continued, didn't you move in with your friend, Sarah Marks, after you graduated?" "Yeah," she replied. Again she was silent, probably remembering the freedom of moving from our house, where she'd lived for her last two years of high school, after her parents moved to Colorado and she refused to go. Airica asked, "What did you use for money?" "I had the money from my dad's life insurance." "But that stopped when you turned 18, I added, and you hadn't saved any." "I delivered pizza's and made a lot of money," she recalled. By this time we had arrived home and the history lesson was over, but it felt good to have shared these memories with Airica; not that it would influence her, because her plans were to go to Denver Metro and major in marketing. Earlier, when discussing early marriage, she'd said, "I don't want to get married until after I graduate from college; or maybe longer." Wrap-up of Mother's Day Even with all this, the Mother's Day activities weren't over, yet. Steve had agreed to BBQ the evening meal for the immediate family, including Earl and Brandon. It seemed a good time for me to show my great-grandson the stones I'd gathered at the Pawnee Indian Site in Texas. Maybe, because it's Mother's Day, but he actually was interested and even selected some to keep, at my invitation. This added an enjoyable touch to my day, which had also been enhanced by Earl presenting each of us a potted cyclamen plant: white for the oldest mother, pink for the next, and red for the youngest. Later, after a game of cards, I returned home to watch the taped video of Shirley Temple's story and also Marilyn Monroe's that Dottie had done, at my request earlier in the evening. More memories of days gone by surfaced, as I remembered Shirley, the curly-haired moppet of my childhood, and Marilyn, the blonde siren of later years, including having seen her famous "Happy Birthday, Dear President" to President John F. Kennedy, and hearing the news of her untimely death. What a span of years these two movies covered. As I drifted off to sleep, remembering the events of the day, I also felt thankful for the modern technology of e-mail, which had allowed my daughter, Gail, and son, Marquam, to send Mother's Day greetings earlier in the week. And Dottie had sent an electronic greeting card with a darling white teddy bear, flowers that opened, and a special message. Thank You, God, for this Special Day and the good times we'd shared. I remembered that I'd also taken time, during church, to remember the special ladies in my life who were no longer on this earth plane: my mother, Mom Freeland (my adopted mother), Nana (my paternal grandmother), Daw (my maternal grandmother), and Aunt Mayme, Lena, Madge and Chris: women who had made an impact in my life in one way or another. Of course, I'd also sent a card and left a message for Arlene, my one remaining mother, and Van had called his mom. It had been a good day. Today is Another Day I awoke thinking about the previous day, especially about Dr. Kathleen, and her accomplishments in life, and I felt a tinge of disappointment with myself for not fulfilling my dreams, but I quickly squelched such negative waste of time, as I thought, "I bloom where I am planted. I am who/what I am, as I fulfill God's Divine Plan for me." I reminded myself that a tulip does not complain because it's not a daffodil; and a carrot does not wish it were a radish; nor does an oak tree bemoan not having the attributes of a pine. Each fulfills its destiny, and my purpose is to fulfill mine, when I listen to God's direction for me. I am not Dr. Kathleen, but I am Joyanna Freeland, and I have my perfect place in God's Divine Plan. I listened for God's guidance for the day, and it immediately came, reminding me to complete the work Van and I had been doing, as preparation for Snow connecting us with the search engines. We'd moved Joyanna Visits the Freedomers, a compilation of my visits with them during our travels, onto the website and now I must connect the links to the various Freedomers that are mentioned. Actually, I felt quite pleased with the way the website was going together, and I could begin to see the fulfillment of my dream, according to God's Divine Plan. It's just that I am still in the Preparation stage, and it's the foundation upon which the Inner Freedom Program is built. A foundation that I had been building for many years, ever since preparing and facilitating the original Pot O' Gold workshops, and then writing the thick book with the rainbow colored pages (coordinated with the colors assigned to the Power) and the glistening gold cover, and sending them to the Freedomers. And when their responses came, in the form of letters, poems and artwork, I began publishing them, along with my own writings in The Rainbow Connection. Over a period of four years, I included material from family, friends and others that seemed pertinent to the subjects, based on the Twelve Powers, similar to chakras, which are located within our bodies. After taking a writing course, where I met and became friends with my teacher, Chris O' Conner," I decided to rewrite the Pot O' Gold book into a series, Transformation: a Twelve Power Process course. However, with all the material from Freedomers, and The Rainbow Connection, I began compiling the Saying 'Yes'" series, which is a work-in-progress. Each sequence contains The Course, with text and a Study Guide, again based on one of the Twelve Powers. And each subject has a corresponding book with the Freedomers responses to the questions, their letters and stories, as they shared them. For instance, third in the series, The Course, based on the subject Understanding is titled, Saying 'Yes' to Myself, with it's correlating book , Not only are the Powers color coordinated, but they are monthly associated too: gold and May for Understanding. Furthermore, each Power is also represented by a disciple: Thomas for Understanding, which makes sense, because he questioned, and then when Jesus explained, he understood. In any event, Visit Transformation: A Twelve Power Process," a fascinating course that heals and prospers; and to enhance your program, there are mandalas to color: meditative designs that center and focus your attention. |